Always Learning

So it is now almost exactly two months since I have written or updated my blog, and I sincerely apologize. I hope to change that and start updating at least once every week or two. So much has happened over the past two months, that it is sometimes hard to know where to begin. I have experienced so much, and I am learning. I guess that's a good way to sum up where I'm at right now- a constant state of learning. There is so much to take in. I'm always just soaking it up, trying to process it and learn. Language, culture, people, children's ministry, responsibilities, sights, history, relationship building... it's been both challenging and rewarding.

One of the biggest challenges has been facing for the first time the loss of a loved one while being away from family. It's challenging to go through the process of grieving the loss of G'pa Ed and trying to heal while being away from home and family. No one else here is facing the same loss, so it is natural for life to go on like normal. However, my heart sometimes falters and stumbles as it tries to move forward with the pace of life and responsibilities. I miss him very much, and it is very lonely at times. But at the same time there is a sweetness about being broken and alone... with Brother. He also was broken and alone. And my feelings of loss and separation cannot even BEGIN to compare with the excruciating degree of isolation my Savior felt as the Father turned his face away and as the Sorrow of the entire world fell on His shoulders while He struggled to take in His last breaths. My Grandpa Ed also died in an excruciating battle for his last breaths, but he used each one intentionally to cheer us up and let us know we were loved. His death was a beautiful picture of the Savior He preached about each Sunday. I wish you all could have known him. He left a legacy of a life lived well.

One of the things I wish I could ask Grandpa about is His boldness in proclaiming the Good News to anyone and everyone who would listen. I remember once on one of my breaks from college, I went out to breakfast with G'ma and G'pa- as was our custom. We went to Pete's Koney Island. As we sat there, enjoying our conversation, a man rolled past our table in a wheelchair. He was a little rough looking around the edges- deep, hard wrinkles in his face, rough skin, and a baseball cap. But boy, did he want to talk. It seemed he was just starving for someone to listen to him. He rolled up and down the restaurant, saying hi to people at the booths. Most of them just ignored or said a quick hello and quickly stuffed another bite in their mouths to look busy or occupied. Then he got around to our booth. Immediately, he looked comfortable there. Because there was Grandpa, just smiling and nodding in assurance that he was listening. I kept waiting for Grandpa to wrap up the conversation with this man so we could get back to our breakfast together. But instead, he kept asking HIM questions to keep the talk going. He asked the man about himself, his interests, his life. I have to admit, I was a bit miffed because I had plenty that I wanted to tell my Grandma and Grandpa... and I wanted to get back to our visit. After all, I was only home for a week or two. But I distinctly remember, after several minutes of conversation, Grandpa Ed looked straight into the eyes of this quarky old man and asked him clearly by name, "Do you know Brother?" I do not remember the man's exact response, but I will never forget that moment. My Grandpa Ed never wanted to waste any opportunity. Where others may have seen a looney old man, Grandpa saw a lost soul. And I want that kind of boldness. If Grandpa were still here, I'd ask him how to get that kind of boldness in speech. And I think he would tell me, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault..." My Grandpa truly lived out Romans 1:16- He was never ashamed of the Good News because he knew it was the power of Dad for salvation.

Even through the challenges and lonely moments of a healing heart, Dad has given me so much.

Over Christmas, I was able to visit Mt. Sinai and the Red Sea. What a neat experience to be able to climb to the top and look down into the valley and imagine the whole nation of Israel, waiting for Moses to come back down so they could hear what the Dad of Israel had to say. It made the whole story come alive in a different way- feeling how the people must have felt trying to climb around those huge rocks in the steaming hot sun with their women and children and animals. I can understand a little more now why the people were so whiny sometimes. I think I would have been too. We were also able to ride down the beach of the Red Sea on some camels. How fun is that? :) What an amusing animal they are.

Over Coptic Christmas (Jan.7th, the day the Coptic Christians celebrate) I was able to travel with my Egyptian friends Najwa and Nadia to spend the day with their friend Fariel's family. It was a lovely day of just visiting, sharing food and playing with their two adorable kids. That is one fun thing to observe- no matter how crazy or different most things are in this foreign culture, KIDS will always be the same. I sat there watching the little 4 year old girl in her pigtails, playing with her Dad- asking him (in Arabic) to lift her up so she could touch the ceiling, and remembered doing that with my own Dad. And even though they speak a completely different language, their language of love is still the same. It is during these times- just sitting there holding these precious children close, listening to this little girl recite the whole 23rd Psalm in Arabic with her face all lit up- these are the moments that I feel my heart healing just a little bit more.

February 1st was also a new and fun cultural experience. My very first Egyptian wedding, I got to be a part of the bridal party! :) A co-worker and friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. It was a fun experience- being the only foreigner in the bridal party and having absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. The ceremony was so different than ours at home. NO rehearsal- you just fly by the seat of your pants. :) The bride and bridesmaids were 30-40 minutes late, and I was the only one there when we were about to start. We followed her down the aisle and randomly found a place to stand up front. The whole service was in the Coptic language and they gave the bride and groom these little robes and crowns to wear. They looked like King and Queen. Everyone got up and walked around throughout the whole ceremony- going up to take pictures of everything going on. So comical. At one point, the groom leaned over to me and asked me to go find an English Bible. I was a little hesitant to wander about the church during the ceremony, so we sent someone else. And when we finally found one, they set it on the bench and never used it! Anyway, all that to say, I am learning, and learning, and learning. :) Sometimes it gets overwhelming, but Dad is faithful always to bring me back to the simplicity of life. Keep asking Him about me when you think about it! And thank you so much for your faithful support. Don't forget to share YOUR stories with ME. I love story time! Especially when it has to do with Dad's work in people's lives. Keep them coming.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel...

So a few weeks ago, I began to hunger for a deeper knowledge of my Father. I started intentionally praying that I could identify with my Brother in a way I never have before. And then I started to think about what it means to identify with J. JC was a man of deep, deep suffering. Throughout his ministry on Earth, he lived life fully. He rejoiced with the greatest possible joy. He mourned with the greatest possible grief. He felt every pain. He knew every emotion. He longed with the most intense possible longing. Isn't it amazing that the Creator of the Universe chose to experience life on Earth in such a real and tangible way? His life was probably as far from comfortable as one could imagine. So when I pray to identify with my Brother, I guess what I'm really praying for is a more uncomfortable life. To know the depth of His love and grace, I must share in His suffering as well. Like Paul in Philippians 3, I must learn to cry "I want to KNOW C and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, becoming like Him in His death, and so somehow attain to the resurrection of the dead."

It's a very scary prayer to pray... but rewarding.

I started to pray that, and the Father answered me.

The next week my dear, dear Papa Ed went to the hospital with a blood clot in his lung. Because of his lung disease, he already could not breathe well. He's been in and out of the doctors offices and hospitals for several years, but this time... his lungs weren't strong enough.

He was in intensive care for several days, and could not talk much. After about 3 days of fighting to breathe, he took his last hindered breath. And then he woke up with my Brother, and breathed his first real breath of celestial air. What a beautiful thing for my dear Grandpa...

But boy, has it been hard. I miss him so much, and OH, HOW MY HEART ACHED.... with an ache I don't think I've ever quite experienced before. The ache of not being able to hug him goodbye or be physically there with my family, or attend his memorial service. It seemed so quick and sudden- so unfair. Like he was just taken from me. It was not right in my eyes. My dear, funny, and spunky Grandpa who loved me unfailingly throughout my entire life, has always been one of my biggest fans, and has never failed to put a smile on my face, ever... I couldn't accept the fact that he was dying and there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless, and my heart just ached... However, though I was far away from home and everything familiar, I was not alone. Though it sure felt like it sometimes when I curled up in bed at night and cried myself to sleep... my Brother never left my side. He never has before in my entire life. And even the times I've been angry at Him, he just sits there and loves me. He's been there.

Over the past couple weeks since Grandpa died, I've felt many times like I have failed this test of my faith. But I am learning that it's a process. Sometimes your heart breaks, but as long as it breaks inside Brother's caring hands, it will only be stronger when He puts it back together. There is a new strength there, that may not have been as obvious before it broke.

My heart is very much still healing. Death is not a natural thing, nor was it ever meant to be. But it has been conquered. I have a hope. A hope that cannot be taken away from me. It is the knowledge that I can be certain I will see Grandpa again. I can hug him again. That he is more alive now than he ever has been. And more than all of that, that my Brother is coming back for me. He's coming back, friends. To some it's a terrifying thought. To me it is a deep anticipation and longing... This Christmas I am praying more than ever, "O Come, O Come Emmanuel...." and thanking my Brother for hearing and answering my prayers and granting me the honor of sharing in His sufferings.

One Month and Smiling

So today was November 20th. I have officially been in Egypt for one month now. It's hard to imagine that. It doesn't seem so long, but today I think I hit a small turning point in regards to my feelings about life here. As I was walking home from another day/evening of Friday services at Maadi Community Church, I looked up at the sky and actually saw a star, shining brightly with a couple dimmer ones beside it. I thought to myself, there ARE nights that are clear enough to see a star or two. Then I felt the cool breeze, and it was just the perfect temperature. Had it been a little earlier in the day, I would have gotten slightly hot and mildly sweaty on my 25 minute walk home... but as long as the sun was sleeping, it felt just right. On my left, there was Skip- the man who opened up his home to me here in Cairo. He and his wife Bonnie are workers in Egypt and share the same passion for those who do not know our Brother. To my right was Saber, their 16 year old, adopted son, on his bright orange bicycle he loves to ride here and there. As I walked with them, I took a deep breath and realized for the first time that I have been here, I was quite content.

The overwhelming shock of being here and not knowing the language or culture is starting to fade- gradually, slightly... and its not gone, but in it's place, the Father is leaving behind new blessings.

I smile as I think about the movie we watched with a few of our kids tonight at MCC. We were watching the movie, "UP" while the adults were in a business meeting... and we have a little boy named Jonathan who looks just like the little boy scout Russell in that movie... Same chubby cheeks and big wide-eyed expressions. I laughed as I saw him glued to the tv screen watching a character just like himself battle off crazy dogs and evil men, alongside his strange rainbow-colored bird companion. :) Oh, the life and innocence of a child.

I smile at the thought of Suzy- a little down-syndrome girl who glues herself to me during the opening session of the kids program. Completely content and happy as long as she's attached to your arm or sitting by your side.

I smile when I think about Abdu, the friendly security guard for our building who I met for the first time when I was turned around and kept passing my own place. He saw me wandering about and ushered me in. And laughed about it every time I saw him afterward. Every morning he greets me in Arabic, and every morning I feel a little more confident about my ability to understand what he is saying and answer back. And boy is he thrilled when I do!

I smile when I think of Magdee, the shy, timid, and meek Egyptian man on MCC's property staff who washes dishes and empties garbages and barely says more then hello or how are you to most of the "foreigners" on staff. Always gentle; always smiling... but never opening up. But this past week, I have spoken to him, and he has talked with me. He has opened up about his family, his life... and really started to come out of his shell.

In the midst of a slightly confusing, many times overwhelming time of transition, my Father has put a smile on my face. He is answering your prayers, and giving me moments of joy and new blessings that really start to cover up the fear and loneliness my heart aches with sometimes. I do not think I will ever stop aching for and missing those that I love, but I am starting to see glimpses of joy and new life that He is springing up in the desert. And they are a lovely and refreshing sight. Your prayers, my friends, are felt and experienced in a very real way. Thank you. Please keep them coming. You are appreciated and loved.

Arabian nights

So, In my childhood days, I used to be quite captivated by Disney Movies. Actually, not much has changed in that respect. But with each new movie, I went through a new phase. When Beauty and the Beast came out, my sister and I would pretend that she was Belle and I was the Beast. We had the coolest little capes/cloaks that we used to wear- a blue one for Belle and purple for the Beast. For hours at a time, we were in a different world- a mysterious, adventurous one full of drama and excitement. When Aladdin came out, my friends and I would pretend at recess. I was Aladdin, running through the market places, trying to skate past the guards on the newest adventure. Jasmine was always by my side as I made daring attempts to protect her from those pursuing us. And of course, my loyal friend Abu was never far behind. :)

Well, now, here I am in Egypt, and I just had a flashback to my childhood days. This weekend I went to the Khana Kilili... a giant Egyptian marketplace with so many merchants at their booths selling their various knick-knacks and treasures. They called out as we passed by, trying anything to grab our attention and get us to look at their section of trinkets and crafts. "Towel- one million dollar!" lol. "Spices! Fine Exotic spices!" Everyone jumping at once. Among the announcements of items for sale, I heard several times,"Egyptian Husband?!" lol.

Actually, the things they said were quite humorous. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Welcome! Welcome to the land of confusion!

2. Oh, hello Snow White!!

3. What are you looking for? Are you looking for me??

4. What are you looking for? (Me: Nothing!) OH, I HAVE NOTHING! Medium-size!!!

5. You are an angel that fell from da sky!

6. HOLA!! (Me: Do I look Spanish??) and then NI HAO! (umm... Chinese?)

7. (This has to be one of my favorites) Seeing that we were American, the man yells out...

"OBAMA! OBAMA IS IN HERE!!" (Lol...)

Yes, the Khana Kilili is quite the cultural experience, and not only that, I was told that market place scene from Disney's Aladdin is based off of this very market. After having been there, it didn't surprise me. So for all of you fellow Disney fans, you ought to come to Cairo! :)

So after my market place experience, I indulged my childlike urge to watch Aladdin. It was a fabulous Arabian night.

The Good Shepherd

You know, lately, I've been experiencing a lot of heartache over just missing the people I love at home. It's hard to be away from EVERYTHING that is so familiar. It's difficult to be in a place where no one REALLY knows you yet. There are not those people around who can look at you and see past the brave face you're wearing. I miss those who know my heart and how to help guard and protect it. It is overwhelming to walk the streets of a foreign country by myself- when everything looks so different then what I am used to, and there are no road signs. I cannot distinguish one road from the next, and I can't stop to ask for directions because I do not know how to speak these people's language. I can't greet anyone on the streets because of the language and cultural barrier. I get so turned around, and it is difficult to realize that no one that I know and love can come and be with me. I feel like no one knows me. I feel like no one hears me. It is a feeling of complete and utter isolation. All along, I've known the truth- that He is with me. That He is my Father. He knows me. Yet it is amazing how commonplace truth can become. There have been times in these last few weeks where honestly, I have cried out to God, and have still felt so alone. It's because sometimes I only see Him from one point of view.
Just last night, when I was crying out and longing to be known and understood, these two words came to mind: Good Shepherd.
All of a sudden, that truth just washed over me like I had heard it for the first time. I flipped immediately to John 10, the passage where our Brother reveals himself as the Good Shepherd. And He spoke to my lonely heart. "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize his voice."
That quiet voice reminded me... there is one who knows me. I am not wandering blindly. He CALLED me out. He has gone ahead of me. And I am following- not wandering. There IS someone here who knows me. There is someone who looks after me.
"I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep and my sheep know me- just as the Father knows me and I know the Father- and I lay down my life for the sheep."
When I feel vulnerable, unheard, unnoticed, LOST, there is one who knows exactly where I am. He leads me. He comforts me. He LAYS down his LIFE for me. I am not alone.
And He goes on to remind me....
V. 16 "I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd." This is my call. There is one who loves me enough to lay down his life... now can I lay down mine for his other sheep? Can I give up my comfort and security to bring them in also??
You know, every part of the Father is worthy of worship. But sometimes one aspect of his character speaks out and ministers to our life at that moment, more than any other. I guess I sort of forgot about Him being my Good Shepherd. Until He gently spoke those words to me last night. He quieted me. If the truth has become commonplace to you... I challenge you, to look from a different perspective. Think about your Father from a different aspect of His character. It may be just what your heart needs.

The Waters will Flow

"Egypt has always played a central role in God's purposes and, according to God's promises in Isaiah 19, he will both bless Egypt and cause his blessings to flow out of Egypt to the rest of the world."

This is a quote taken from the Maadi Community Church Website. It is part of their vision statement. And I want to make it part of mine, as I live and work here for over a year and a half. If you are unfamiliar with Isaiah 19, I encourage you to read it.

While I am here in Cairo, I am going to be working at Maadi Community Church. Maadi is an international and interdenominational church with 1000-1500 people from over 40 different countries. The church is made up of many people who are in Egypt on business, some "workers," some who live here year round, and many refugees from other countries. There is a large group of Sudanese refugees here, and many work on the property staff. While I am here I will be working with the children's ministry and helping out with the middle school youth- building relationships in the church and community and helping others to grow wherever and however I can. I appreciate your prayers in all respects.

John 7:38 has been my life verse for several years now, and in many ways, it serves as the purpose statement of my life here on earth. The verse says, "He who believes in me, as Scripture has said, streams of Living Water will flow from within him." My prayer is that by choosing to follow God with all of my heart, He will cause His blessings to flow from within me to whoever I come into contact with. My middle name is Brooke, which essentially means, running or "living" water. I believe that it is part of who God made me to be. I pray that I can live up to this name and purpose while I am here in Egypt, and wherever else I am.

The purpose of this blog is to keep you updated about what God is doing here in Egypt so that you know how to further pray. It its meant to encourage you, to give you insight into life here. I hope that God uses the stories posted here- exciting, sad, funny, and everything else- to touch your life as He has touched mine. I look forward to sharing stories with you, and hopefully hearing some of yours along the way as well!